Video on LGBTQ sex therapy and Sexuality & Aging

I LOVE the CBT video on LGBTQ. I found it incredibly helpful to provide techniques in working with this population. The technique I found most helpful is the coming out scale. What a concrete way to discuss the progress so far and the progress needed in the future. It combines both CBT, solution focused, and strategic therapy.
In addition to the video, the reading this week was also interesting. I am especially intrigued by the part about consent to sexual activity for elderly with dementia and AL. I knew it would be difficult especially if the patient's preferred partner is not their own spouse. However, I did not think about the legal implication in this situation. I thought it would be helpful to learn how to discuss this topic with our clients and families.

Paraphilia and Sexual Diversity

Thank you for the wonderful presentation on paraphilia. It TOTALLY open my eyes about all the philias that exist out there. Some, honestly, I never would have thought. Couple thoughts on the presentations: 

1. Important distinctions on: not all pedophiles are child molesters, and not all child molesters are pedophiles. I think we should give the Gold Star Pedophiles truly a gold star. Who knows how hard that is to resist temptations like that. 
2. The wikipage is extensive, like a gold mine, and a bit overwhelming. There are definitely a lot to cover especially when most people dont talk about paraphilia. I appreciate and LOVE the video discussing different paraphilia. It's an incredible summary and really add to the presentation... But is it just me or does she talk way too fast that I have a hard time understanding? 

Lastly, Sexual diversity chapters were important to gain a better understanding of female to male transexual and male to femlae transexual. I was really surprise that the first recommendation for clients with GD is hormone treatment? Really??? Did I read it wrong or is our society really that medicalized?

Sexuality in the Context of Chronic Illness

This week presentation hits home for me. The information was really helpful and the wiki page was incredible organized. I love it. I especially like the PLISSIT acronym. I used it in session this week. It's been really helpful working with children who have developmental delay and at the age where they are interested in exploring their sexuality. What are difficult balance to education them to be safe and allowing them to make their own decision. 

In addition to the presentation and wikipage, I also found the list on p. 438-439 in Binik and Hall incredibly insightful. Before the presentation as I was reading through the book, I was confused about the disruption in one's sexual development. It helps me better understand that chronic illness can interrupt normal stage of sexuality. I also thought that mental illness can be part of that chronic illness as well. 

Overall, love the wikipage. Good job!!!! 

Orgasm Disorder and Video

I LOVE the video from When Harry Met Sally? What a wonderful way to start the presentation! The presentation gave me a thorough understanding of FOD without giving me a headache from the overwhelming information. I found it helpful to have a better understanding that side effects from medication can result in FOD. This piece of information is tremendously helpful in the clinical practice. Besides, I found the discrepancy between research study and DSM diagnoses criteria is RIDICULOUS. As a student, we rely so much of our knowledge from scientific research. Much of our understanding and theories are driven from the literature. This discrepancy changes my perspective of scientific research. On the other hand, as we studied and discussed in assessment, DSM criteria sometimes can also be ambiguous as well. As we prepare to become a professional clinician, we really do need to put on our critical thinking cap on. 

The Strange Sex video was sad to watch. Personally, growing up in a conservative culture, I can somewhat understand the anticipation of the wedding night and the shame she had going to her father can help. The video does demonstrate the level of distress couples with FOD experience. However, I recently read an article that sexual functioning does not necessarily correlate with sexual satisfaction. I wonder for a less extreme case of FOD, will the couple suffer from that level of distress and dysfunction in their relationship? 

Sexual interest/arousal disorder

OMG!!!!!! Thank you for Sarah, Chrissy, and Brittany for a wonderful presentation and THOROUGH wiki page. You all brought three long chapters into bright, beautiful, entertaining information. I do have to say that I was surprised you all include my Russell Brand's video from last week. I posted it because he spoke in detail some of my concerns regarding porn. I am curious about the motivation and rationale behind including this video with this particular disorder.

I am amazed by all the assessments and articles provided and found it ridiculously helpful especially in the clinical practice. I am also curious about what are the psychometrics on these assessments as I only recognize two of them.

In addition, I have NEVER heard of the TV show Sex Box, and I am dump-founded by how it is approved?! I don't want to make any judgement about the show since I have not seen it personally. But how is having sex in a box in front of millions of people sexy? appropriate? desirable? I would not be surprise if these men and women have "arousal disorder" while they are in the box.

Lastly, I LOVE the Trudel et al. (2001) study and quotes because it clearly defines the complicating aspect of FSD. It's never just one cause... 
"found that from his interviews with couples, women reported feeling that their partners were always thinking and desiring sex, and lacked intimacy and empathy. They found that women in their study with HSD reported that “The most frequently reported self-directed negative thoughts among women refer to their physical appearance and self-image, the presence of performance anxiety and unrealistic expectations during sex, a lack of sexual interest, and family/financial and occupational preoccupations," 

Hypersexualized society

I remember being a little girl, I always wanted to play with Barbies. I had a friend in 2th grade who have a room full of Barbies and I complained to my mom about not having any. I remember my mom rationale is that Barbies live in a lifestyle/world that is unreasonable and inappropriate for little girls. At that age, I had no idea what she meant by that. Now that I am older and seen different cultures and lifestyles, I can appreciate my mom's rationale. I wish when I was young, we have Tree Change Dolls. I thought the creator and founder is amazingly talented and thoughtful in re-creating these dolls in a way that is more appropriate for little ones. This once again reminded us that our culture provides us even at a young age a tainted values or images of our sexuality. I hope that parents can take advantage of this young artist work and re-create a new image of our sexuality to our little ones.

Video on the Berman Int. in Chicago

The video was surprisingly enjoyable. After watching the Vagina Inc. last week, I had a bias opinion of Dr. Laura Berman. I thought she was entirely too medical and lack interest in actually helping couples in their relationships. Watching the video gave a new perspective of her work. I thought not only did she focus on the medical/biological aspect, but also discuss psychological and social expectations. She was warm and skilled in drawing out some deep history for both men and women in just a short week. Some of her exercises presented in the video highlighted not only the behavioral concerns but also the process, the pattern, and the family of origin. I was surprised by the progress these couple had in just simply one week. I felt that it was easier for these couples to get away from their normal environment and practice these skills they learn for this week without the distractions of reality. However, I also wonder how much will these couples retain after they are back in their real life. I wish there is a follow up session in 3 or 5 months to gauge the effectiveness of the treatment.

Low Desire or Unrealistic Expectation

After the chapters this week about FSD and HSDD, it makes me think about what is the standard of low?! Who decide whether a person having sexual desire only once a week is low while another having sexual desire once a day is normal? Who gets to decide what is "normal?"

"Our culture offers unprecedented anonymous access to sexual stimuli..." (Binik & Hall, 2014, p.48) aka in my words: pornography, almost every single nighttime TV shows or above PG-13 rating movies.

Once again, who say going to a bar and hooking up with a random hot guy/girl is normal desire.

I totally agree with Sarah's blog last week about Feminist and Pornography. Not only do I believe it degrades women, I believe it degrades sexuality as a whole. Pornography took away the values, the intimacy, the purity of sexuality, and minimalizes it to less than a TV show. Not only do I believe it gives an unrealistic expectation about body images, it forces an unrealistic expectation about sex overall. Sexuality, relationships, people... they all take works and efforts. Not in a bad way, but a rewarding way. No wonder people have difficulty with their sexual desires and interactions. It's much easier to be satisfied in front of a screen than putting the efforts to engage with people. It's much easier to look at the unrealistic TV shows or movies than to actually live our real lives. 

Now, is it really low desire? or is it just too difficult? is it actually arousal disorder? or is it simply too unrealistic of the expectations? 

Edit on 2/28/15.Watch this video of Russell Brand. It's AMAZING!!!! 

Beautiful

We talked a lot about media and how influence our thinking and our culture. One of those new popular thing they are trying to bring out in the media is that 'everyone is beautiful.' This article, Not Everyone is Beautiful,  brought up some really good points. Our world focus so much on appearances. To look a certain way, to behave a certain way, and even in our sexuality, to be sexy in certain way. Why do we keep letting the media define our beauty? Why do we keep letting the media or the culture to define our sexuality? Who is to say that we have to focus on outward beauty to feel better? and who is to say that we have to think having random hot, one night stand with the hot, sexy man/woman is the best sex in the world? If we truly believe in relativism and post-modernism, then why do we keep putting our sexuality, or even our identity in a box? If there is no absolute truth and people can believe whatever they want, then why do we letting our media or culture tell us that you have to have great sex in order to be happy? 

You can't have both! 

Bio

Hi! Just a little bit about myself here. I am a 2nd year (and final year) grad student in the Couple and Family Therapy Program. I am interested in working with children with traumatic background and mixed raced couples and families. Growing up in a Asian culture, sexuality is rarely discussed in the family or in the society. I am looking forward to learning how to help couples in this area, especially those from different cultures.