Hypersexualized society

I remember being a little girl, I always wanted to play with Barbies. I had a friend in 2th grade who have a room full of Barbies and I complained to my mom about not having any. I remember my mom rationale is that Barbies live in a lifestyle/world that is unreasonable and inappropriate for little girls. At that age, I had no idea what she meant by that. Now that I am older and seen different cultures and lifestyles, I can appreciate my mom's rationale. I wish when I was young, we have Tree Change Dolls. I thought the creator and founder is amazingly talented and thoughtful in re-creating these dolls in a way that is more appropriate for little ones. This once again reminded us that our culture provides us even at a young age a tainted values or images of our sexuality. I hope that parents can take advantage of this young artist work and re-create a new image of our sexuality to our little ones.

Video on the Berman Int. in Chicago

The video was surprisingly enjoyable. After watching the Vagina Inc. last week, I had a bias opinion of Dr. Laura Berman. I thought she was entirely too medical and lack interest in actually helping couples in their relationships. Watching the video gave a new perspective of her work. I thought not only did she focus on the medical/biological aspect, but also discuss psychological and social expectations. She was warm and skilled in drawing out some deep history for both men and women in just a short week. Some of her exercises presented in the video highlighted not only the behavioral concerns but also the process, the pattern, and the family of origin. I was surprised by the progress these couple had in just simply one week. I felt that it was easier for these couples to get away from their normal environment and practice these skills they learn for this week without the distractions of reality. However, I also wonder how much will these couples retain after they are back in their real life. I wish there is a follow up session in 3 or 5 months to gauge the effectiveness of the treatment.

Low Desire or Unrealistic Expectation

After the chapters this week about FSD and HSDD, it makes me think about what is the standard of low?! Who decide whether a person having sexual desire only once a week is low while another having sexual desire once a day is normal? Who gets to decide what is "normal?"

"Our culture offers unprecedented anonymous access to sexual stimuli..." (Binik & Hall, 2014, p.48) aka in my words: pornography, almost every single nighttime TV shows or above PG-13 rating movies.

Once again, who say going to a bar and hooking up with a random hot guy/girl is normal desire.

I totally agree with Sarah's blog last week about Feminist and Pornography. Not only do I believe it degrades women, I believe it degrades sexuality as a whole. Pornography took away the values, the intimacy, the purity of sexuality, and minimalizes it to less than a TV show. Not only do I believe it gives an unrealistic expectation about body images, it forces an unrealistic expectation about sex overall. Sexuality, relationships, people... they all take works and efforts. Not in a bad way, but a rewarding way. No wonder people have difficulty with their sexual desires and interactions. It's much easier to be satisfied in front of a screen than putting the efforts to engage with people. It's much easier to look at the unrealistic TV shows or movies than to actually live our real lives. 

Now, is it really low desire? or is it just too difficult? is it actually arousal disorder? or is it simply too unrealistic of the expectations? 

Edit on 2/28/15.Watch this video of Russell Brand. It's AMAZING!!!! 

Beautiful

We talked a lot about media and how influence our thinking and our culture. One of those new popular thing they are trying to bring out in the media is that 'everyone is beautiful.' This article, Not Everyone is Beautiful,  brought up some really good points. Our world focus so much on appearances. To look a certain way, to behave a certain way, and even in our sexuality, to be sexy in certain way. Why do we keep letting the media define our beauty? Why do we keep letting the media or the culture to define our sexuality? Who is to say that we have to focus on outward beauty to feel better? and who is to say that we have to think having random hot, one night stand with the hot, sexy man/woman is the best sex in the world? If we truly believe in relativism and post-modernism, then why do we keep putting our sexuality, or even our identity in a box? If there is no absolute truth and people can believe whatever they want, then why do we letting our media or culture tell us that you have to have great sex in order to be happy? 

You can't have both! 

Bio

Hi! Just a little bit about myself here. I am a 2nd year (and final year) grad student in the Couple and Family Therapy Program. I am interested in working with children with traumatic background and mixed raced couples and families. Growing up in a Asian culture, sexuality is rarely discussed in the family or in the society. I am looking forward to learning how to help couples in this area, especially those from different cultures.